Posted 10:22 AM by Danielle
I just had a really frustrating AOL IM "fight" with my work friend Nanaaba. She is mad at me because I didn't say hello to her when I walked by her desk this morning. She is one of those people who gets all high and mighty and vocal when she thinks someone is being inappropriate but has a hard time receiving criticism. Normally I would just try to appease her but I just couldn't take it anymore and told her exactly what I was thinking.

Some background: Nanaaba and I used to be much closer but I just find that she's really bitter about her job and not really friendly to me any more. She may say hello if she sees me but when I ask her what's up she is frequently in a bad mood and not interested in talking to me. She was out of the office all last week because she had a wisdom tooth removed. When I saw her yesterday, I wanted to see how she was feeling but she was literally tight lipped. She seemed like she was in pain or couldn't talk and was eating yogurt so I may have made a joke about needing to eat soft slurpy things.

Other characters: Jeannine is an annoying co-worker of ours. Lindsey is another co-worker, one who I am much friendlier with for the past few months.

She is NoirBallerina.

NoirBallerina (9:39:16 AM): what's yr problem that you couldn't speak this morning?
dbtF93 (9:39:41 AM): What's your problem that you totally brushed me off when I tried to speak to you yesterday?
NoirBallerina (9:41:50 AM): first of all i didn't brush you have. but it you have a problem you should speak about it. I got tired of you asking me silly questions. But then you left. Granted Jeanine interupted you.
dbtF93 (9:42:23 AM): What was silly about "are you in pain"?
NoirBallerina (9:44:42 AM): that wasn't the question I was referring to. But anyway. I did not brush you off you left. And like I said Jeanine somewhat interupted u. But that is no excuse for you to be rude this morning.
dbtF93 (9:48:19 AM): Who made you the rude police? How many times have I stopped by your desk to say hello only to have you give me a shrug?
NoirBallerina (9:52:39 AM): Danielle! now you know I have never done that! if I'm on the phone I would wave. but you know that you are a liar to say I shrug you off. And I'm calling you a liar!
dbtF93 (9:54:44 AM): Not literally -shrug- but more or less react to my hello. I feel like when I say hello to you and ask what's up you feel like I'm annoying you. I'm not mad, but it doesn't make me want to go out of my way to say hello, such as today.
NoirBallerina (9:57:34 AM): Well Danielle You always bring yrself over here and speak to Lindsey and never speak to me. I really am no t concerned whether your mad or not. I'm letting you know that yr rude to me and it doesn't take a being a "rude police" to notice that. This isn't yr first time. But if you don't want to speak then DON"T!
dbtF93 (9:58:18 AM): Don't you think that I stop by Lindsey's desk because she talks to me?
dbtF93 (9:59:20 AM): And I don't visit her either for the sake of a visit, just when I am picking up mail or running an errand in the area.
NoirBallerina (9:59:31 AM): Look the issue at hand is that you are rude and again this is not yr first time.
dbtF93 (9:59:47 AM): You are rude too.
NoirBallerina (10:00:28 AM): Danielle either way, you don't speak and ever time I come into yr secetion I always speak or yell he daniell. but this conversation is getting way out of hand and yr getting childish.
NoirBallerina (10:00:49 AM): when you're able to communicate like an adult then well talk until then don't write back
dbtF93 (10:01:29 AM): I can accept that you might feel that I am rude, but you need to accept that I feel you can be rude too.
dbtF93 (10:02:19 AM): Do you realize that yelling "Hey Danielle" from the hallway is not exactly a conversation starter?
dbtF93 (10:03:22 AM): You certainly like to do a lot of criticizing but have a hard time taking it. I would rather not have this type of conversation at all, but you did bring it up. You just don't like what I'm saying.
NoirBallerina (10:03:59 AM): Danielle my point was that I speak, I didn't say I stopped to converse w/ you. This is not about how many conversations we have. I just said a greeting a hello
NoirBallerina (10:05:28 AM): I don't have a hard time w/ critism if giving construtively. Like i said before DON"T write me until you know how to communicate like an adult.! Good bye danielle. And you can spare yr self the torture DON'T SPEAK AT ALL!
NoirBallerina signed off at 10:05:51 AM.

Posted 5:11 PM by Danielle
Winter Olympics 2002, Salt Lake City
I don't care for winter sports or any sports in general, but whenever the Olympics rolls around, I always get into the individual sports, like gymnastics, swimming, track, skiing, snowboarding and figure skating and stuff. Most of the sports look more like punishment than a sporting good time, if you ask me. Watching the mogul skiing- whoa! That stuff kills your knees! And downhill skiing is literally my worst nightmare. The hill is totally icy and insanely steep, like 75 degrees in some areas. Figure skating might look like it's for pussies but when they fall, they fall hard and on cold HARD ice. Of course, I doubt I could even stand up straight if I put on a pair of ice skates and the last time I tried to roller skate (with the old fashioned skates, not the "new fangled" inline skates), I had to call it quits after one entire run around the track.

I am totally high today for some reason. I started out really mad at my boss but since Kerin showed up to meet me for lunch, I have been high as a fucking kite. Maybe it's because I hadn't been taking my Prozac and finally took some this morning or maybe it's because I am finally feeling better after two and a half weeks of flu, exhaustion, sore swollen throat stuff and incapacitating ingrown toenail-related pain, it's like HALLELUJAH! Or maybe it's just a reverse seasonal depression. Maybe it's seeing old K-dogster. Anyway, I'm all chatty with D. I bought a starfruit at the cafeteria (what the hell are they doing serving that?). I think I scared Josh with my peppiness on the phone earlier.

Well, we're meeting Kerin and Sebastian for Indian tonight. I told Kerin and Josh that I would make an exception for this special occaison (Kerin and Sebastian being in town) because usually the idea of Indian food brings back bad childhood memories of stinky Indian and Pakistani people in crowded areas. Was I ever stuck in a closet with a Hindu family? No, I just grew up in New York City, Queens, specifically, AKA multi-culti land, and have had to negotiate space with lots of fresh off the boat people. I still find FOB Chinese people aggravating too, but at least their pores don't leak out the spices they cook with like Indian people. Also, my parents never really took me out for Indian and opened me up to that world of cuisine. Theoretically, Indian people are fine by me but their spices invoke some sort of mental gag reflex. Plus, I find that a lot of immigrants can be so dense about assimilating to American ways, such as respecting personal space, observing personal hygiene mores, controlling their children in the subway, restaurants, on lines, etc.

Okay, enough blatant racism.

Listening to: a great mix that I got at Ben and Karyn's wedding. Contents include Joy Division, Rainer Maria, Fan Modine, Death Cab for Cutie, Yo La Tengo, My Bloody Valentine, Joan of Arc, Galaxie 500, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Gossip and Dan iel Johnston.

Reading: "Trust Us, We're Experts! How Industry Manipulates Science and Gambles with Your Future" by Sheldon Rampton and John Stauber. Basically, it's a critique of the public relations industry. Certain parts are a little dry and other parts I can actually understand so I don't feel like such a mush brain. This is one book my father should not read because he's so fucking paranoid as it is.

Doing:Avoiding doing actual work. I should be looking at an Excel spreadsheet to see how to automate certain aspects such as calling up drop-down menus and requiring certain fields be completed. God, I'm such a geek when I want to be but unfortunately today is not one of those times.

Posted 11:40 AM by Danielle
I am so frustrated with my boss right now.

B. emailed me and told me she wants to talk to me about "my absences." She even scheduled time for us to talk about it (as well as some other non-reprimanding topics). I want to be prepared and show her where it says we have unlimited sick days but I can't find that page in my Employee Handbook.

My sick days: I was out for three days around XMas/New Year's because I had a bad cold. Then I was out three days the week before last because I had the flu. Then I took half a day last week because I was feeling really tired. And I only did that because B. had suggested I work half days until I felt better. Then last Friday, I was able to make a 1:30 pm doctor's appointment and told B. that I would not be returning to the office afterwards. As it was, I didn't even get out of the doctor's until after 2:30 and knew I couldn't get back to the office until well after 3 and really, what's the point in working for two hours when I felt tired and stuff anyway?

And it turns out, I don't have strep. The doctor wasn't sure what exactly I had but said that with my very swollen and sore throat, swollen glands and tiredness that it sounded like I had a mono-related virus. Not necessarily mono because I've already had it but something similar. She said there wasn't any point in testing for it (D. suggested I get a blood test) because there's no treatment for it. She said the swollen throat should go away soon but that I would probably feel tired for a few more weeks. And actually, my throat is much better and I feel more energetic (although I felt very exhausted on Saturday afternoon). So maybe it was the mono-type virus or maybe I just needed to get over some kind of post-flu hump.

I gotta get over this bitterness. It's extremely unproductive. Not to mention, bitterness breeds MORE bitterness. I'll go to the company store for a little while.

I keep feeling that if she trusted me just a little bit more or perhaps had a bit more faith in me, she wouldn't have to be all weird like this, thus putting ME on the defensive.